Decision in a nano second

You know that feeling when you feel constipated in life?
I had that feeling for the past couple of years, so it's time to stop doing things that makes me constipated.
Listened to that voice inside my head that told me to quit one of my jobs.  Yes, took it in the first moment it came up.
Didn't take a lot of thought, no struggle.  Just some unknown as to where I'd get half my income afterward.
But that's for future me to worry about.

I'm still that irresponsible half who do things and leave the aftermath for my other half self to deal with.
Hey, but it's making both of us happier and lighter at heart.

解放解脫

一大早醒來就強烈的扁頭痛.
猜測是最近的敏感還是吃太熱氣而造成的肝火和骨火, 還是幾個星期前扭到頸膊還沒好而發炎?
喝了水再吃了 Advil 都還是很痛.
然後腦海突然想起昨天探望姑婆, 見到她不能看, 不能講, 不能走.  可是她緊緊握住我的手, 用力拍打我的臂.
姑姐說她已經不能認人, 可是我就是能感覺她的靈魂在叫喊, 在高興我隔了三年的探望呀.
我哭了.
好久沒有不管場合的在哭, 沒有這樣子的傷心痛心.
我也明白為甚麼今天早上會這麼頭痛.  因為我的靈魂不能釋懷在抗議在責怪.
所以今天真的放假. 留在家裡讓自己哭飽了才出去.

完美的減壓時間

只要給我一天...
完全不接觸人類 - 讓我在不講話, 不溝通的環境下渡過這 24 小時.
我不會看電腦電視手機, 只會睡覺吃東西拉便便看風景.
這樣就足夠了.

Fan X-ing

前一陣子就開始想: 我現在的努力和汗水都是為別人在流.  恰巧之前突然間所有人都需要我的幫忙, 然後我就很自然的豪邁地扛下來.
我自己的 true calling 就好像被掃到地毯下了.
所以我不停的沉醉, 想要尋找出路,可是太忙了就不了了之.
最近才覺得, 這已經不是信仰和理論可以幫到我的地方.
我需要往內心深處看, 下一個路口要往哪邊走了.
我還笨蛋的把九月的旅程編成半公幹, 真的有的幹.  臭蛋呀我.
以前都把旅行的時間用作自我調整.  雖然最後錢包空虛, 不過腦袋裝回熱誠.
有預感這年的我會滿痛苦煎熬的.

另外, 減肥計畫是有在進行.
餐單方面控制食慾還算可以.  因為工作的關係所以也多了運動.
下一步就是修整睡眠時間... 嗯, yes, 現在凌晨四點多了.
所以嘛... 這點需要多加油.

Reflective contemplation

Ready for my month-long vacation, like now.
Well, not really.  I need more dough to spend when I'm off.
Only Hong Kong this time.  Not because I'm tired of going to Taiwan, but I wanted to finally do that geological park boat tour that only happens on Saturdays.

I think I've really taken too much on my plate since last year.
Thought I could do everything.  Well at one point I did managed to do so, but I also took on quite a lot of weight from snacking and just plain poor dinner choices.
Now I've got to lose all that fat before I head back so I can buy proper size clothing, and being able to travel to places with ease.
And no, it's not stress eating.  I've been a bad snacker all my life.

As people around me start to get married and have kids, they kept telling me it's time for me to act my age and start my own family.
But what's the point?
With constant terror threats, declining environment quality, low economic strength all over the world, I really don't see my offspring in a very nice world.
I don't mind taking care of other people's kids, they're fun to be with and to see growing up, but my own kids are my responsibility and I don't want them to suffer from what this world has to offer.

A soul mate would be nice to have for someone who'd like to be mentally naked to another.  So far I haven't met a true soul mate, but it's not up to me is it?
Even if I wanted a relationship, this person doesn't just arrive on my command.
If the universe feels like us bumping into each other, we are bound to meet let it be this life time or next.
Why should anyone be bothered that I don't meet this person this life time?
I just don't get it.
Just chill.

Nocturnal bliss

Finally here - my new bed.
No more sloppy mattress~  woohoo!
Bye bye Ikea crap bed, you have served me "well" for the past 12 years.