i find it more and more difficult to connect to people. i'd rather keep digging the hole than keep my head up. i just don't feel the affect that should've been there.
lately i realize that i talk to myself too much... so i'm muting the conversations to keep up the sanity level. well, keeping it solely in the mind. the correspondence is still happening, just not verbally.
maybe all i need is a pet? or someone i can really talk to? i dunno, feels like i've lost the other half of myself.
it's a weird feeling. i used to think my other half is somewhere out in the world. but these few years i don't sense it any more. maybe it has died or gone off somewhere else.
maybe that's why i'm picking up hiking and photography? i'd rather face something non-human than interact with a human. how obnoxious is that?
let me put my mask back on. it's better that way. i would appear more human.
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